Frequently Asked Questions

Legally: no. Technically: the house edge is 99.99999%, which means that over a statistically significant number of spins, the outcome is predetermined. Philosophically: yes. But so is the heat death of the universe, and you still go to work on Monday.

The jackpot has existed since launch. It has never been won. This is either a remarkable statistical coincidence or an intentional design decision. Our legal team has advised us to not finish this sentence.

Yes! The cashout button is real. It works. We are legally required to process it. We have made it slightly harder to find than the spin button for purely aesthetic reasons. No other reasons. Definitely not UX reasons.

You have heard back. Svetka responded immediately. If her response did not resolve your issue, that means your issue is unresolvable. This is a subtle but important distinction. Svetka sends her regards.

Our Random Number Generator is audited by the Totally Real Institute of Fairness (T.R.I.F.). The certificate is framed. The CEO cried when he hung it. We cannot share the source code as it is proprietary. If we shared it, you would understand the machine. Understanding the machine would reduce engagement metrics.

Congratulations! You have lost enough money to qualify for our top tier. Your benefits include: a dedicated bot (Svetka, same bot), personalised form letters, and a PDF certificate. The PDF is real. The benefits are real. The sympathy is also real, but we keep it in a locked drawer.

This is a satirical project — there is no real money. Your starting balance of $100 is fictional. Your losses are fictional. Your pain is relatable but also fictional. If you feel like your fictional pain mirrors real gambling feelings, please call 1-800-GAMBLER.

We store your username, email, and a bcrypt-hashed password. We share analytics data with Google and Yandex as described in our Privacy Policy. We do not sell your personal data. We do sell your attention to advertisers. This is called "the internet."

Vibe Casino™ is a satirical comedy project with no real money. It is legal in approximately the same way that a comedy sketch about a bank robbery is not an actual bank robbery. If you are uncertain, please consult your local legal counsel. We consulted ours. She laughed, then invoiced us.

This is a deliberate artistic choice to represent the contrast between hope (green, glowing) and the finality of surrender (grey, small). It is also a standard industry dark pattern. Both things are true simultaneously. Chad from UX is unavailable for comment.

A Yacht in Dubai. This is an artist's rendering and not an actual prize. There is no yacht. Dubai is real. The rendering is very nice. We paid a lot for it relatively speaking.

Please contact Svetka at our support page. She will respond immediately with a pre-written answer that does not address your question. The response will be warm, professional, and completely hollow. We are very proud of it.